RIP Prince (and RIP Prince Fielder)
For me to be an honest blogger, I have to admit: I couldn’t name one Prince song before this weekend. I became quickly accustomed to his many hits after blaring Channel 50 of Sirius XM Radio (…yes they pay me to throw in ads into the blog) all day while on the beach sipping Pina Colladas on vacation in Turks and Caicos (….google it, you non-geographic heathen), with my favorite hit being “Little Red Corvette” even though the most popular hit was probably “Purple Rain.” While on vaca, I also found out that Prince has/had a $12M mansion in Turks and Caicos see below. May he forever Rest in Peace.
When I think of Prince, all I can think about is Prince
Fielder. What happened to him man? He went from hitting 30-50 bombs a year, to
no longer being able to play 1st base because of the fear that he
may fall asleep on the job (Fielder was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea prior to the
season, which is unrelated to narcolepsy but poses a little funnier edge to the
argument of the regression that this 31 year old has seen the past three
years). Fielder is hitting .184 with 4
runs, 2 HR’s, and 14 RBI’s over the past 75 AB’s this season (14 total hits on
the year, only 4 extra base hits and 7 walks).
In comparison to 2013 (arguably career year before he got the insane
Contract from the Tigers), he hit .417 with 15 runs, 7 HR’s, and 27 RBI’s
through the month of April (28/93 with 13 extra base hits and 19 walks). Now is your time to buy low on this guy, see
Hakuna Machado for a possible trade.
#LongLivePrince #PrinceFielderIsDead
/rant
Twins Send Buxton
Down
As of April 26, 2016, the Twins are 6-14, and already 8
games back of the division leading White Sox (14-6). But are the Twins really this bad? No. If
I were to invest in the Twins, now is the time I would buy (on Sano, Nunez, and
Dozier). Over the past 10 games, the
Twins are 5-5. That may not sound that
great for a team that started off 0’er 7 or 8 or 9, unless you dig into the
stats. Of the 5 previous losses, they
have lost by a combined 13 runs. However,
2 of those games were by a run or less, and 1 was by 2 runs late in the game. So in lamest terms, they either have gotten
blown out (Loss to Brewers 5-10 and Loss to Nations 4-8 and 0-2), or played
tough ball and lost by a run.
The Bad? You called it, the over speculated, high
risk high reward, the “pay me my dividend for drafting you in the 10th
round” or “I almost kept you” type of guy, Byron Buxton who was sent down to
the minors this past weekend after starting the year going 7/45 with 5 runs, 2
RBI’s and 5 extra base hits. Let’s face
it, they needed a scapegoat to blame the poor start to the season, and Buxton
was the fall guy. Every mafia and big
time celeb needs a fall guy (see Aaron Hernadez Case) and Buxton was that guy
for the Twins. The biggest factors for
his demotion were that he couldn’t put the ball in play, striking out 24 times
while only having walked twice. This
would lead to his atrocious OBP of .208.
Dude needs to figure his stuff out in Triple A before getting called
back up again probably by June or July when the Twins are 15 games back of the
Royals and out of contention for the division.
The Good? Not “Average Joe” Mauer who leads the team
with an .329 average, it’s that Miguel Sano is finally producing for that 3rd
round pick that he was anticipated to have, and Eduardo Nunez (who is
that?). Sano is batting .315 over the
last 10 games (12/38 with 8 walks, 3 HR’s and 6 RBI’s). Sano has been a force to be reckoned with and
is likely to get on base at least once or even twice a game. The real story is breakout candidate of the
year that no one is talking about is Eduardo Nunez who is batting a team
leading .404 on the year (19/47) with 9 runs and 8 RBI’s and 4 stolen bases. He has a .453 OBP, just a hair behind Average
Joe’s .455. Now, if leadoff man, Brian
Dozier could figure out how to get on base, Bung Hole Park might actually have
some base runners on so he can stop hitting all these solo shots homers. The bullpen has been decent with the loss to
Glen Perkins, but the promotion of Kevin Jepsen to interim close has opened the
door for Fernando Abad (30 year old RP) who holds a 0.00 ERA, 0.75 WHIP, and 13
K’s in 9 innings and leads the team with 4 holds. He has been able to come in pitching
additional frames as needed and is as reliable as they get.
Twins have a tough few home games against the Indians and
Tigers and should be back to .500 by May 11th (my prediction).
The Ugly? There is no longer Facebook posts from
@MattLenz regarding firing Gardy, the Twins already did that. IT DID NOTHING. When will @MattLenz start to blame it on Molitor? If the Twins don’t figure it out soon, expect
them to call up the prospect manager @MattLenz from JV West Tonka High School
in the near future to the Show.
The team just needs to sit back on the workhorse and money
eater, Ricky Nolasco, and continue to call up young prospects in hopes that one
turns into the next Mike Trout or Carlos Correa to rejuvenate a morally
defeated team who relies on the $23 Million Dollar Man Joe Mauer to hit bloop
singles up the middle.
/rant
#CrimeDogDown’ed
by ‘In Pence, I Trust’
Everyone loves an underdog, but what everyone loves more
than that is the good guy prevails over the evil gremlin. In this case, ‘In Pence, I Trust’ squeaked by
to beat ‘Team Reints’ whose team name still displays his lack of creativity
that should have been exhibited in 2nd grade Art Class.
However huge the win might have been for Lenz, he lost a key
member of his pitching staff in Carlos Carrasco over the weekend who tore a
hammy (or something like that) and is out 4-6 weeks, if not months.
‘In Pence, I Trust (‘IPIT’)’ conquered the notorious “King
Joffrey” type of fantasy player, ‘Team Reints’ by a score of 6-5-1. ‘IPIT’ managed to win 5/6 pitching categories
(K,QS,ERA,WHIP,K/9), 1 hitting category (HR’s), and tied in steals. ‘IPIT’ managed to slug 12 homers last week,
getting 5 from Wellington Castillo, Catcher from the D-Backs. I bet Castillo was “slugging his gf” every
night that week after the games. Aside from
his one hitting category that he won, his pitching staff was superb, led by
Drew Smyly who went 15 innings, with 17 K’s, 0.60 ERA, and a 0.67 WHIP. Now, if I can’t find a better guy to “sell
high” on and trade to Hakuna Machado, it would be that guy. Outside of Smyly, ‘IPIT’s’ pitching staff did
not perform to its best. A struggling
Jose Fernadez (when I say struggling, I mean he hasn’t gone more than 6 IP,
7K’s in a game yet, still a very solid pitcher, just not “NITE NITE” lights out
as last year) and a Carlos Carrasco big time injury to his vaginal region will
haunt ‘IPIT’ for the next 4-6 weeks.
‘Team Reints’ was referenced as the “King Joffrey” in the
likes of, nobody likes playing him. Year
after year, he has a very solid squad, which you are just waiting for a huge
season ending injury to leave a gaping hole in his lineup (just like everyone
jumped for joy when King Joffrey died in Season 4). Long story short, Reints’ hitting dominated,
while pitching seemed to be a soft point for him getting four poor starts from
Juan Nicasio (whom Reints dropped), Henry Owens (RedSox SP, 3.1 IP, 5 H, 3 ER,
4 BB, 4K), Aaron Sanchez (Blue Jay’s SP – 4.1 IP, 10 H, 6 ER, 1 BB, 3 K), and
Adam Conley (5.2 IP, 7 H, 4 ER, 4 BB, 2 K).
Other Notable
Scores of the Week:
‘Hakuna Machado’ pounds ‘Just Here So I Don’t Get Fined’
9-3. Cam got no help from his hitters
outside of Stanton (6/22 with 2 bombs), and it was a one start week for his two
aces in Arrietta and Kuechel who posted a combined 15 IP, 6 ER, 4 BB, 11 K, 1
QS.
‘I’m Never Gonna Win Now’ beat ‘**JP**’ 9-3 as well. DJ got 4 bombs from the likes of Colby
Rasmus (which team is he on now?....) and solid starts from his excellent
pitching staff in Greinke, Sale, and Sherzer, not to mention picking up Ryan
Madson (RP – Oakland A’s) who got him 3 Saves.
Minnesota Twins lost to Team Pup ‘N Suds lead by soul
skater, Andy Brink Brinker 5-7. Long
story short for “Go Big or Go Home” Team Pup N Suds, Jordan Zimmerman is going
to win the Cy Young, CarMart is a god, Correa is bouncing back, and Billy
Hamilton STILL SUCKS. The Minnesota
Twins, well the team name says it all.
Well Played Mauer beat Dick N Trout 8-4. Dick N Trout got unlucky by starting guys who
either aren’t playing, suck, or are benched by the actual team and only pinch
hit, such as Brock Holt (3/7 all week), Wong (1/3 all week who is going to lose
the starting job to Jed Gerko), Billy the kid Burns (1/5 all week), Realmuto (1/14 all week), and
Hoover (6 ER, no longer the closer for the Reds). Well Played Mauer got big weeks from Big Papi
(gotta LOVE PAPI), Sano (How can you Sano to loving Papi?), Heyward, Quintana
and Iglesias.
TCBM managed by Joe Copas beat down the guy who gave up all
his draft picks last year, Disabled List owned by Ryan Roberts 8-3-1. The score is very misleading, as TCBM barely
won 3 of the categories over DL such as QS 4-3, ERA 4.74 – 4.82, WHIP 1.28 –
1.35 but did lead the week in Homers with 16.
‘Play of the Week’
sponsored by DraftKings
This is an easy choice.
Has to be Wellington Castillo.
Here’s ‘Team Reints’ take on him:
YOU MAD BRO??
PEACE.
Written By:
Hakuna Machado - 4/27/16
Edited By:
In Pence, I Trust - 4/28/16
Approved By:
In Pence, I Trust - 4/28/16
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